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Written by joker butterfield
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A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, 'Did you see me rob this bank?'
The man replied, ' Yes sir, I did.' The robber then shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, ' Did you see me rob this bank?'
The man replied, ' No sir, I didn't, but my wife did! |
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Written by joker butterfield
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A chicken farmer went to a local bar... sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence," the farmer says, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating." "This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!" says the woman. "What a coincidence" says the man.
As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man . "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I used a different cock," he replied.
The woman smiled and said, "What an amazing coincidence |
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Written by joker butterfield
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A bus full of butt ugly people is driving down the road when it crashes, blows up, and kills everyone inside.
The people all go to heaven and meet God at the gates, he says, since you have all been good people you will get one wish each.
All the people cheer and line up, the first guys say, "I want to be gorgeous," So God snaps his finger and the man is gorgeous.
The second man hears this and decides he wants to be gorgeous too, so he asks for the same thing, and so on and so on everyone wants to be gorgeous, and about halfway through the line, a man in the back starts laughing; everyone wonders but no one knows why, so it goes on and on.
Once they get to the last man, God asks, "Why are you laughing?", the man replies, "MAKE THEM ALL UGLY AGAIN!" |
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Written by joker butterfield
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Just went to game shop looking for the game Grand theft auto.
The sales assistant wanted me to describe it to her.
I told her its about a black man driving around with an iron bar, crashing cars, rooting whores and evading police.
The stupid bitch gave me tiger woods PGA Tour 2010 |
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Written by joker butterfield
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A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.
The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.
The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.
"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American.
He responds, "I'll take the Mexican." |
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Written by joker butterfield
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A girls puts an ad online requesting a man who won't hit her or leave her and is a great lover.
A few days later her doorbell rings and she finds a man with no arms and no legs.
He says to her, "I have no arms, so I can't hit you, and I have no legs, so I can't run."
She responds, "But the last part..."
He grins and says, "How do you think I rang the doorbell?" |
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Written by joker butterfield
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"I can't find a cause for your illness" the doctor said. "Frankly, I think its due to drinking."
"In that case," said the patient "I'll come back when you're sober." |
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